Dear Child Protection Services

I'm no expert on child cruelty, but I'm fairly sure that the alarm-bells should've started ringing upon observing the KID'S FUCKING EAR-STUD...

Seriously, you've got to sort this kind of thing out - not only for the good of the kiddies, but because it just seems to bring out the worst in me. Frankly, this is almost as bad as the time I came up with the idea for a new children's supergroup, the 'Black Eyed Baby Ps' (debut single Boom Boom Pow out shortly).

I'm really sorry.

Penitent regards,
Davis.