Saturday 30 July 2011

Dear Ed Fucking Sheeran

I can't be fucking doing with you, Ed Fucking Sheeran, and I don't even fucking know anything about you apart from the fact that that fucking song you have in the charts is fucking shit, and the rest of your stuff sounds like bad fucking Nizlopi (who were fucking good, and whose memory you've now royally besmirched), or fucking Maroon 5 (who were equally fucking shit).

Facepalm is fucking RIGHT, mate.

Also, I can't be fucking doing with all those fucking clueless fuckers who fucking wank on about you and "real musicians" as if there aren't any out there who aren't ten times fucking better or more deserving than your fucking mediocre output, but evidently aren't fucking palatable enough for the brainless fucking masses to cope with.

What a wonderfully fucking sweary weekend I'm having so far.

Fucking regards,
Davis.

PS - Anyone who writes a song called The A-Team and makes no reference whatsoever to a crack commando unit who were sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit is just fucking asking for it in my book.

PPS - That's MY fucking top you're wearing, give it back.

1 comment:

Davis McLelland said...

Incidentally, my mate Chaz just responded thus to this article:

"I saw this knob play with Example (don't ask) and needless to say we went and sat in the bar paying £6 a drink rather than watch his drivel. It was essentially a bunch of 16 year old girls screaming at a sleazy gap year twat."

Magnificent.